Day 4

I have my appointment for testing in January, and I am so excited for this, but also scared to death.  I am so used to bad news and my body totally rejecting any and everything I want.  I want this so much.  I never thought I would want something so much in my life, but I do.  I have to tell myself to accept the news, whether good or bad, because atleast I will finally know...no more wondering.  My husband, from the weekend we first met, said he wanted kids with me.  I so don't want him disappointed or to look at me differrently.  I know he won't, but I think I will, and I am not sure how to cope with that yet...ugh!  Time to just roll with the punches and take everything in stride, as it is God's plan.